~ Day 4 ~
~ Wednesday, December 17th, 2014 ~
What Has to Change?
You get what you tolerate.
– Mike Ditka
Make a list of things that are not at a level you expect and demand. Choose the area or areas you’re most frustrated with, and write two emotionally-charged paragraphs about each, describing why you deserve more, why you’re committed to changing it, and (just as importantly) what will happen if you don’t make a change.
– Matt Frazier
This morning I was committed to doing my yoga before work. I have now realized that if I don’t do it in the morning, I end up doing it at work because I know I’ll never do it at night when I got home. Frustrated by how bothered I feel about doing yoga in my office (I always feel a little like I’m going to get “caught” even though I do it on a break), and knowing I wouldn’t do it tonight when I got home, I did my yoga first thing this morning. When my alarm went off at 7:30, I didn’t stay in bed for 15-30 minutes like I’ve become accustomed to this week, I got up and unrolled my mat. My sequences always end up going over the 5 minutes, and by then I’m fine with it. It’s all about getting over the hurdle of getting started.
Completed my anchor habit for 8 minutes. Did balance poses from Om a yoga.
Silent meditation for 5 minutes.
1. Unfulfilling career/lack of certainty with career direction
I deserve better than a boss I don’t respect. I love the kids at my school, but I never really feel like I can be my full self around there. My boss is so scatter-brained she blames me for taking her off task when she’s the one that drew me into conversation. She makes me feel like a lot of my job is keeping her happy. And the way she talks about other employees makes me feel like she probably speaks negatively of me when I’m not around. I don’t like the full time lead teacher there and I feel like she talks down to me. I have slowly been feeling worse about my job there since the fall school year started. This summer was different because Ihad a lot more freedom and responsibility (we didn’t have a full time lead yet). I don’t get to see or talk to her much so a lot of our interactions are via email, and a lot of them are negative. I’ve been trying to find ways to interact positively, but we’re both very busy.
I want to get in a better place about my job so I can make the best of my time there. I also don’t see myself staying in education forever, so I also want explore other options. I have decided I don’t want to seek a full time position there, but I am committed to putting more effort into my job after holiday break. There are lots of good things about my job, the flexibility in scheduling, the other teachers, and the work-life balance it allows me. I can really excell at this if I put my mind to it, and I want to save up money and get a good recommendation when I’m ready to move on. If things don’t change I will probably continue to be disappointed by my job and my boss for years. I likely can’t get out of there and run my own business for a few years so I am determined to make the most of it!