~ Day 10 ~
~ Tuesday, December 23rd, 2014 ~
Get Wise to Your “Why’s”
Reason come first. Answers come second.
– Tony Robbins
Completed my anchor habit today for about 5 minutes (didn’t time it today). I did standing poses from Om Yoga. Chanted a little bit before and meditated in savasana for a couple minutes. Didn’t have a lot of time before work but it felt good to get it done.
I have added meditation to my anchor habit, and it has felt great to meditate daily. Today I meditated after yoga, and I also meditated for at least 5 minutes while driving, I’ve only been doing it for a couple days but I already feel the benefit. I like the idea of equanimity meditation, the metaphor of a still pond in the face of the wind. I would like to go into this holiday with family free of expectation, because the holidays can be such a time of pressure and expectation.
For each of your one-year goals, write a paragraph about why you are so committed to making it happen (in the case of the one-year goals that are stepping stones to longer-term goals, you can combine the short- and long-term goal since the why’s will be similar). Make sure you describe the following three things, with as much emotion as possible:
1. Why you’re utterly determined to achieve this goal — for whom, for what?
2. What will happen if you don’t follow through (make this one painful, and really let yourself feel that pain)
3. Why you know you absolutely can make it happen — and get excited about that!
Alternatively, create a huge list of your reasons for each goal. I personally find that writing paragraphs stirs up more emotion than a list — and that’s the purpose here — but choose the approach that works best for you (or do both).
Get finances under control and start saving – open a space – buy a house
I am a late bloomer to the realization that finances are the foundation to everything. I have spent most of my young adult life rejecting the narrative of saving and frugality imparted to me by my dad growing up. I seem to have forgotten many of the lessons he painstakingly taught me during my adolescence about not a accruing credit card debt, managing my money, and being thrifty. Somehow since moving back from Chicago Remy and I have never paid off our credit cards. This makes me feel shame even though I don’t believe money is all important. I have wavered almost constantly in my relationship to money: wanting more, not wanting to get stressed about it, getting stressed about it anyway… And while I was agonizing over these things I forgot that it does take careful financial planning to make your dreams come true. I need to improve my credit score to be able to apply for loans, and I’ll need loans to start my space. I’ll need a loan to buy a house someday. I realized through making and prioritizing my short and long term goals that my life calling will not bring me fame and fortune, my calling is to serve community and make enough money to live comfortably. I don’t see myself ever making more than $40-50,000 per year at most. So I will always need to be mindful about my finances, so that I can be responsible with my income and not fret about money all the time.
If I don’t follow through with getting my finances taken care of – which means paying off credit cards and making regular payments on our student loans – and start saving, I’ll never raise the money to go to yoga teacher training, to meditation training, get my DONA certification, or put down a down payment on a house. I’ll become even more financially stressed if I have a baby and my finances aren’t under control. I absolutely know that I can do this becaus Leos are determined, confident, and ambitious. If I believe in myself and hold myself accountable I can achieve anything, in high school I got amazing grades, was super involved, and excelled at everything it felt like, it would feel great to feel that way again. All I need to do is exercise a little restraint in the short term and I’ll get what I want in the long term: a space, a baby, a house, time to travel, and lots of joy in life, I already have so much joy, and I can’t wait to cultivate more!
Yoga Certification – open a space
Meditation certification – open a space
I love yoga. My daily practice is important to me . I could never list the benefits of a lifelong yoga and meditation practice. I want everyone to become aquainted with yoga in their life, and I hope that many choose to make practice a part of their lives in one form or another. I want to contribute to a more intentional, mindful, spiritual, and active world. Being active was something I loved about working at MPIRG, and it helped me realize that I want to be active in my career. I want to help people believe that everyone can do yoga. I want to help people. I would love to just start teaching yoga right now, but I wouldn’t be any good. I need to complete yoga teacher training so that I can truly serve my students, not to mention so I can depend my practice. Yoga certification and meditation certification
Get DONA Doula Certification – open a space
I am determined to complete my certification because of the experience I will gain and the help it will be for my doula business. I want to become more than a trained doula, I want to be a well-informed, and experienced doula with education to back up my career. I like to learn, and the parents that I work with deserve for me to be knowledgable. The first of many steps in my journey to be a doula is to understand the technical and literal aspects of pregnancy and birth. I am excited to take a childbirth education class and a breastfeeding class, and I’m excited to write my birth essays. There is a lot of knowledge I can get from the books I will need to read, and the experience of three births will give me some foundation of understanding for birth itself. The DONA certification will give me additional credentials for my doula business
Arrange personal sperm donors – have a baby
Why do I want to have a baby? That’s an impossible question. I want to have a baby because the sky is blue, because there are rainbows, and because I think my puppies would love them. I want to have a baby because they are beautiful, I love human beings and believe in their innate capacity for goodness. I want to have a baby because I think I could be a good mom if I work really hard. I want to have a baby because I think I can be an even better parent than my parents were. I want to have a baby because I think more people like me should have babies in the world. Before I come off sounding arrogant, I don’t mean to say and it is me who is special, I guess I mean my values. I want my child to be their own person, but I also want to show them how wonderful veganism can be, how great being queer is, how freeing gender can be and how constraining sometimes, I want to be honest with them about how the world really is, and I want to teach them yoga, art, music, sports, and theater. I also want to go through the experience of birth at least once. There are many reasons to have a baby, and if I don’t or can’t have one, I can try to adopt or foster. I can also do LGBT host home either way someday hopefully. I know if I put my mind to it I can probably have a baby.
Read 12 books – read all the books we own
Why am I absolutely determined to read all the books we own? Because I’ve helped shlep them all over hell in all our moved, and I’ll be damned if I kept them around to not read them! I moved these books from University Ave, to 8th St SE, to a storage unit, to 37th Ave S, to Chicago, and most recently to 16th Ave S. They were heavy, if I don’t get to read them I’ll be pissed, so I better just read them. If I read 12 per year I’ll read 120 books in 10 years, which should get me pretty close! Woo! Let’s do it!